"I la-la-love spending time with Nate!! Even just a day of church, Joanne's, the library, a nap, and sci-fi shows is easily one of my favorites ever. I realized this morning that our honeymoon never ended - and there's no end in sight ♥"
This was my facebook status today and it couldn't be more true. See, the thing is, we've had some pretty ugly times, no doubt, but my heart has stayed in the same place the whole time. Growing-ever bigger.
The book we just finished today "One Marriage Under God" and they talked about having a "Marriage Story" and what that means for each couple. I don't know what that looks like for Nate and I. I know that we do a lot of things: read books together, watch movies, work out, talk, laugh, play, we make each other a priority. We pray together (not as often as I'd like) and we talk about God together. We pray for each other on our rides to work/school and we strive to be completely considerate of the other person. We try to get closer to God and each other every day.
Our goal since about June, in terms of what our marriage purpose is, has been to listen for God's leading and follow Him step by step listening to His movements and acting in faith. We have no clue how God wants to use us, but we're trying to allow Him to prepare us.
Can't wait!
2.27.2011
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By:
Morgan
2.24.2011
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By:
Morgan
S'about time!
I'm going to pray and fast over a goal list. I have an idea of what I want and why, but I want something more than just me. Something bigger. Something, well, God :)
There's a lot that needs to change if I'm going to be "ready to do whatever is good" and "build myself up in my most holy faith" and frankly, I'm slacking.
Nick V - a life without limbs:
I believe that God will as me two quesitons when I get to heaven:
1) Do you know Me?
2) Who did you bring?
WOW.
Morgan
There's a lot that needs to change if I'm going to be "ready to do whatever is good" and "build myself up in my most holy faith" and frankly, I'm slacking.
Nick V - a life without limbs:
I believe that God will as me two quesitons when I get to heaven:
1) Do you know Me?
2) Who did you bring?
WOW.
Morgan
2.07.2011
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By:
Morgan
Baby Names!
Boys: Aslan, Aiden, Alden, Rollan, Landon, Parker, Hunter, or Connor Nevan, Ephraim, Elijah, Isaiah, or koli <3 Firstname: taydum, 2nd name Jackson. Really like that. asher. owen. tobias.
Nate on boys:
Girls: Aidrianna, Alexis, Natalie, Lydia, Keirstin, or Kendall, Bristol/bristal
Girls: Aidrianna, Alexis, Natalie, Lydia, Keirstin, or Kendall, Bristol/bristal
Nate on girls: Triss, River
2.01.2011
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By:
Morgan
My 3 Heroes
I've been watching The Biggest Loser season 9 and there is a father-daughter relationship on there that kills me. It's between O'Neal and Sunshine. They have such a close bond and a tight relationship. They way that they look after each other and share in one another's highs and lows makes me cry every time.
It also makes me think about how I had that too. I think the reason they affect me so much is because it reminds me of the relationship I had with my dad. Especially during the last year. I want so badly for him to be here. I hate that he's missing so much of my celebrations. Him and Nate getting to know each other means the world to me and we had just enough time. But I hate looking back that he wasn't at my wedding. I hate that he can't come to my new house and see how I've decorated it, how I organize things. I can't cook him dinner and show him how far I've come. There's no calling to talk to him about my problems and the things I face at school or with our family. He won't see me graduate. He won't meet my kids or help me name them. He won't see me become healthy and strong, and smart. Or grow into a more christ-like woman. I yearn for his admiration, his advice, and his support. But I can't have it.
I've got stories. Pictures. Memories. But that's it.
I was thinking about how a lot of things I do are for him. To make him proud. I don't drink - ever. I promised him I wouldn't. I've never smoked. I waited till marriage to have sex - he wanted that for me too. I'm going to college and I'll be the 1st of his kids to complete it. I want to be healthy because I saw the toll that taking care of my mom put on him. I also think about how much he wanted to have his body back. So many of his struggles were because his body gave out on him. For 70 years that man cared for everyone else but himself and when his body made it so he couldn't look out for us anymore - it tore him apart. I mean it literally was like burdensome black cloud that hung above him all the time. Though he made a lot of progress in the months before his stroke, he didn't have control. I do. I have the choice to be all that I can for my family right now and follow in his steps. I can take care of my body now so it doesn't quit on me later. I know that's what he would tell me to do now.
I have another Father, a heavenly one. And his approval and pride in me is the most important. I know that all the above matters to Him, but it's not enough. It's not what it's about. He wants me to choose to love. At every turn, in ever circumstance what He wants from me is that I have love in my heart that flows over into my actions for His people. God, I need for it to be Your love that's pouring into my heart because I don't have it. People drive me nuts/make me sick/tick me off, I don't care for a lot of them. But I know You do. They're worth it to You - help me to see them as worth it too.
I think it was important for my dad to go when he did. Nate having his approval was golden for me. But so much of me still had my dad as my hero. That spot belongs to Nate, and of course to God, but now that I'm married, not my dad. He'll always be my hero - but he can't be the one I turn to. He can't be more important to me than Nathan. Nate's a tough cookie for me - he doesn't tell me what to do when I ask for advice and I hate that. I want him to have the right answers. Instead, I have to turn to God and seek him for the right way. My dad was like that too. I remember every time I asked him what I should do when it came to boys he would always say "what's meant to be will find a way." DROVE ME NUTS!!!! at the time, but now I see the wisdom and the truth behind his words - if you're seeking God first.
In cultivating my relationship with Nate and know that we are getting stronger and stronger as a couple. He's teaching me that it's not about being worthy, or punishment, but that love is what I get simply because I'm his wife. He like a real-life example, a true-to-life picture of the love Jesus talked about and wanted me to experience. Wants Christians to show each other. I am so blessed to have him. I am so greatful to God for him.
And so this is my prayer for Nate for the rest of my life:
Morgan }|{ "Look at Jesus only."
It also makes me think about how I had that too. I think the reason they affect me so much is because it reminds me of the relationship I had with my dad. Especially during the last year. I want so badly for him to be here. I hate that he's missing so much of my celebrations. Him and Nate getting to know each other means the world to me and we had just enough time. But I hate looking back that he wasn't at my wedding. I hate that he can't come to my new house and see how I've decorated it, how I organize things. I can't cook him dinner and show him how far I've come. There's no calling to talk to him about my problems and the things I face at school or with our family. He won't see me graduate. He won't meet my kids or help me name them. He won't see me become healthy and strong, and smart. Or grow into a more christ-like woman. I yearn for his admiration, his advice, and his support. But I can't have it.
I've got stories. Pictures. Memories. But that's it.
I was thinking about how a lot of things I do are for him. To make him proud. I don't drink - ever. I promised him I wouldn't. I've never smoked. I waited till marriage to have sex - he wanted that for me too. I'm going to college and I'll be the 1st of his kids to complete it. I want to be healthy because I saw the toll that taking care of my mom put on him. I also think about how much he wanted to have his body back. So many of his struggles were because his body gave out on him. For 70 years that man cared for everyone else but himself and when his body made it so he couldn't look out for us anymore - it tore him apart. I mean it literally was like burdensome black cloud that hung above him all the time. Though he made a lot of progress in the months before his stroke, he didn't have control. I do. I have the choice to be all that I can for my family right now and follow in his steps. I can take care of my body now so it doesn't quit on me later. I know that's what he would tell me to do now.
I have another Father, a heavenly one. And his approval and pride in me is the most important. I know that all the above matters to Him, but it's not enough. It's not what it's about. He wants me to choose to love. At every turn, in ever circumstance what He wants from me is that I have love in my heart that flows over into my actions for His people. God, I need for it to be Your love that's pouring into my heart because I don't have it. People drive me nuts/make me sick/tick me off, I don't care for a lot of them. But I know You do. They're worth it to You - help me to see them as worth it too.
I think it was important for my dad to go when he did. Nate having his approval was golden for me. But so much of me still had my dad as my hero. That spot belongs to Nate, and of course to God, but now that I'm married, not my dad. He'll always be my hero - but he can't be the one I turn to. He can't be more important to me than Nathan. Nate's a tough cookie for me - he doesn't tell me what to do when I ask for advice and I hate that. I want him to have the right answers. Instead, I have to turn to God and seek him for the right way. My dad was like that too. I remember every time I asked him what I should do when it came to boys he would always say "what's meant to be will find a way." DROVE ME NUTS!!!! at the time, but now I see the wisdom and the truth behind his words - if you're seeking God first.
In cultivating my relationship with Nate and know that we are getting stronger and stronger as a couple. He's teaching me that it's not about being worthy, or punishment, but that love is what I get simply because I'm his wife. He like a real-life example, a true-to-life picture of the love Jesus talked about and wanted me to experience. Wants Christians to show each other. I am so blessed to have him. I am so greatful to God for him.
And so this is my prayer for Nate for the rest of my life:
1 John 3:18 (New International Version, ©2011)
18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
Morgan }|{ "Look at Jesus only."
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