10.31.2010 | By: Morgan

Out on Your Feet (Gen 32:22-32)

My notes on Pastor Kitchen's sermon:
Wrestling with God

1. We must face our FEAR (7, 22-24)
     -God orientates so that that I must face my fears: Jacob had to face Esau.

2. We must face our FIGHT (24-25).
     - He wrestled all his life for the very things God was going to give him by faith.
Hosea 12: 3-4
     - God wanted to bring light into Jacob's darkness (He wanted Jacob to stop striving, deceiving and manipulating and accept the blessings as gifts). All of the fighting Jacob had done his whole life where only indicators of a bigger issue: his view of God.
     -Your problems are not with "them" but with God because you don't think God will do you right. You believe and live like you have to get it on your own.
     -Jacob "overpowered" God much like the same way that a father would let his 3rd grade son win at arm wrestling. The wrestler's strength works off the pivot of the hip; Jesus simply touches the hip and it's over.

3. We must face our FAILURE (26-27).
     -"Bless me" everything Jacob did in his life was driven by this. He was always wrestling for his blessing.
     - "What's your name" not for information, God knew his name. But rather for confession. Jacob need to admit to being the "deceiver."
     -We too need to get to the place where we see that our deepest failure is not what we have done, but who we are. It's not "I have sinned" but "I am a sinner." Because we have to get to the point we were realize it's all by God's grace. Everything! No more of my scheming, striving, crawling and manipulating - it's all Him.

4. We must face our FUTURE (28-32).
     - In the Bible a new name always =s a new life.
     - We win, by loosing. Coming to the end of ourselves and clinging to the hope and faith that God will do what He says He will. 
     - "why do you ask my name" = In that culture to ask a person for their name and have them give it to you meant that you had a sense of power over them.
     - Jacob limped away a victor. His triumph and defeat came to him simultaneously.
     - v 32 = The ppl knew that this was the pattern God uses with all of us: surrender to God in clinging faith that He will be the God He promises to be. "Bless me; Save me"

* "God can not fully bless a [person] until He has concurred him" - A. W. Tozer

*The 4 Positions of Jacob
1. Scheming
2. Wrestling
3. Clinging
4. Limping

Now for personal reflection:

"God wanted to bring light into Jacob's darkness" Everything God did was to get Jacob to the end of Jacob. Jacob spent his whole life trying to get the things God had already promised him. Pastor Kitchen pointed out that God wanted Jacob to get sick of Jacob so he sent him to his uncle Laban who "deceives" him with his daughters, tricks him into working for him 7 more years, and then after making a deal with him on his wages keeps changin' out the sheep and goats to try to get one over on him. See, that person that you have having the hardest time with, may be someone God has in your life to get you to the place where you are sick of yourself.

"Your real problem is not with 'them' but with God because you don't think God will do you right. You'll have to get it on your own." I think that nails it. In a particular situation I'm going through, I keep trying to find the right answer, figure it out and then, I'll know how to deal with it. I'll know what I can do to make things right. To make things better. To allow God to work in my life and set things the way they are supposed to be according to His righteous plan.

There is no surrender in that. There is no resting, no laying my head upon His shoulder, no stillness. There is only striving, planning, and self. My view of God is off. Whatever happened to the grace of God? It didn't go anywhere, I just don't choose to see it. I disregard it because I'm so puffed up on myself. I get straight A's, never got into any trouble, my parents were so proud of me, I'm a shinning star next to some in my family. I'm married, going to college, I volunteer and I'm pretty pleasant to be around. When I do get into a fix, I depend on God to get me out BECAUSE I've gone to the person and worked it out, BECAUSE I was sweet and personable to my advisor, BECAUSE I was respectful to the policeman so I didn't get a ticket. Not that any of these are wrong, but they all involve me "doing" something that I've planned out and know will have a certain success rate. When it comes to trusting, when it comes to a peace that passes understanding, I am so impatient and can't handle not having a Plan B, "just in case."

At the end of the service we sang I Surrender All. This song always bothers me because I don't feel like I've surrendered much of anything. I LOVE my life. I can't tell you how much. I love Nathan, I love School. Where we live, our house. My family. But of all those things, the biggest problem is Morgan. It really is. I thought about how I needed to come to end of myself if God was going to be allowed to do anything in me. I thought about what it would be like if I let all my notions, all my prepared arguments, all my formulas fall from my hands and I clung to the promise that God's got my back. I visually picture me clinging to Jesus, on my knees, tears running down my face and Him lovingly stroking my hair with a smile on his bearded face. Isn't this what Matthew 11:28-29 is all about? Jesus begging for us to find rest in Him. To allow God to sing over us, rejoice over us, take delight in us! (Zeph 3: 17).

When we got to the point in the song where it said "humbly at Your feet I bow" I knew I had to go up. I wasn't on my knees, there wasn't really room for it in the pews. And I remembered what J.D. said "when you're faithful, He can work." I know I can surrender myself. So I went up to the alter which was scary at first but it felt really good. To be on my knees with my hands in the air hoping and praying that I am one step closer to John 3:30.

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to lay everything I've been struggling with at His feet and cling to Him. Only Him. I'm going to trust that God will be God for me. I'm going to trust that He will bless me, in despite of me, because He is gracious, He is faithful, and He is mighty to save.

"I trust God because He is alive" - a Christian girl the middle east.

Morgan }|{ "Look at Jesus only"