11.09.2010 | By: Morgan

The Goal

"When my goal is to change people, I subtly communicate: Something is wrong with you; I am okay. You are ignorant; I am enlightened. You are wrong; I am right. If our relationship is defined as healer to patient, I must remain strong and you must remain sick for our interaction to continue. People don't go to doctors when they are well. The process of 'curring,' then, cannot serve long as the basis for the relationship that is life producing for both parties." - Robert D. Lupton, Theirs is the Kingdom

Relationships. That's it. I love reading this book because Mr. Lupton is just like me: we love order; we love efficiency; and we thrive off the sense of accomplishment. He and his wife decided to minister in the urban ghettos of Atlanta and he learned quickly that he was going to have to let go of his comforts if he was going to be able to truly do God's work. He writes his findings and thoughts in his book and I have loved every page so far.

Tonight, these words became especially true for me. I volunteer with two different ministries. The 1st one I absolutely love and look forward to going to. It's structured, we get things done, and the kids are pretty well behaved. The second one is very different. The first night I left I wanted to down a bottle of Tylenol and I knew it was going to stretch me and require me to "let go of my comforts."

Don't get me wrong: I will never say goodbye to structure, that's what these kids need! But the sense of accomplishment needs to get thrown out the window. It's to feed a selfishness in me and that isn't the reason I'm there. It's for them: to teach them about Jesus and help with their homework.

Working at the second place has been kind of hard for me. I didn't feel like I was connecting or helping much. It was hard for me to relate to the kids and I felt useless. Sitting on the couch waiting for the kids to show up I started reading Theirs is the Kingdom and by the time I got to page 13 I had my head in my hands. I asked Jesus to show me if this is where He wants me. I asked Him to help me be ok with not having things the way I want them or are used to having them. To open my eyes and to be aware of chances for me to further His kingdom.

Now, I believe that the most prominent way Jesus answers prayers is with peace that surpasses understanding and/or by circumstances. Mostly the 1st. But tonight was AWESOME :D I worked on Crafts with the girls and introduced the hot glue gun to many of them. Not only did they love it, but I felt SO helpful and it made it easy to talk to them and ask questions - see what they like. Plus, two of the girls made crafts with my name on them which they gave me later. I couldn't wait to come home and show Nathan!

On the way home I thanked God for showing up tonight. He always does, I just have to ask. It's still going to take a lot for me to focus on relationships and not all the fine print, but I think tonight brought me one step closer. To Him be the Glory!

Morgan }|{ "Look at Jesus only."