My "Thing"

Last night I read a blog post by Grace Full Mama about her feeling like she didn't have a thing - but knows that kids (hanging out with them, teaching them, hugging them etc) are her thing and how she can serve and love God.

*wail* I don't have one! I mean, seriously. I have No-"thing". I like

• children
• knitting
• playing the guitar
• learning American Sign Language
• reading Amish books (inspirationals)
• reading Instructional/Informative Christian books
• taking pictures - lots.
• eating primal (most of the time ;)
• Crossfit (sometimes I have to talk myself into it, but I'm always happy to be there and glad I went)

But all of those things are just things that I like doing, some of the time. And I'm mediocre (at best) in all of them. While I really enjoy them, I don't see any of them as my passions - how I could best make use of this life. Also, I hate not being the best at something I pursue, and there's no way I'm going to be an amazing guitarist or have the best.

(Kayaking with the Hubster this summer).

Things I STINK at but am looking forward to learning/growing in

• knitting socks, cute hats, and mittens/maybe gloves
• learning how to sew . . . currently, suck at.
• learning about gardening, animals, homeschooling, and self-sufficiency 
• becoming faster and stronger
• growing in my knowledge and love for God
• practicing His presence 

(Tomatoes and a few peppers from our garden this year, much better than last year).

Somethings that I love are

• Studying the Greek/Hebrew words in the Bible and reading commentaries 
• Talking with people - I love giving and receiving advice - how to better ourselves. 
• Developing 1) as a wife and one day Mommy(through my relationship and knowledge of Nate, Christian woman books and blogs, what God's teaching me), 2) into a homesteading wife (blogs, videos, mother earth news and books), 3) physically (crossfit and nutrition), 4) more and more into the likeness of Jesus Christ my Savior. 

(At hat I knit for my nephew, as modeled by my husband haha).

Again, while I love these things, I only scratch the surface of what's involved with them. I'm not kidding - I feel completely insufficient in all of them.

Do you know how are this is for a person who thrives on A+'s!! Ugh, it drives me nuts. It's so discouraging! I want to do something big for Jesus!! I'm not a sought-after inspirational speaker leading people to Christ, I don't excel at anything, I mean - what am I good for? How can I add value to His kingdom? How can I show Jesus that He made a good choice in choosing and loving me? 

After praying and my husband's words of wisdom, I have a different outlook. That maybe this isn't a reason to be discourage, but rejoice. It's ok that I don't have a "thing" to pursue and give myself over to, because I only want to purse a Person. Even if it was FOR that Person, I'd still rather not. My personality would get wrapped up in that instead of Him. And if I ever lost it, I would feel like I failed Him. 

I'm happy to be aware of my likes, future likes, and loves. I'm thankful to be growing in them and learning more about them. But I want the whole of my life to be an exultation of the Trinity - I want that to be my "thing." Growing in knowledge, love, and dependency on my Favorite Person ever.

Isaiah 40

29 He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless. 
30 Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall, 
31 but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.

Ok, that doesn't sound like someone who doesn't have a "thing." Like someone who isn't being usefully used for God's purposes.  

Here's to trusting Him. Here's to being mighty, flying, running, and walking by the energy of His power, for His Name sake. Because it doesn't matter WHAT I'm doing, as long is it's for Him:

"We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is preformed." - Brother Lawrence, Practicing the Presence of God 

Let's just love Him. Love Him most - and let everything flow from that.

Growing in Him,

Morgan