I was going to read Genesis because I woke up thinking about how Evolutionist seems to have such a high view of humans and yet liken us to monkeys and rats and refuse to believe that we are made in the image of The Almighty God. Um ... I'll take the latter ; )
But instead saw some highlighting and a quote I had written down (not unusual for me, but I thought I'd read it anyway).
Here's what it read:
Deuteronomy 8:10-18
10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. 11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12 Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13 and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. 15 He led you through the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. 16 He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness, something your ancestors had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. 17 You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” 18 But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.
"If I make anything out of the fact that I am [Morgan Reid], I am dead" - Thomas Morton"
So I wrote the quote in my status and followed it with this:
HE brought, HE gave, HE gives. He humbles and tests us that in the end it might go well for us.
- I think it's time to stop worrying about having a 3.9 so I can get into the Masters Program I was hoping for. . .
I'm so glad Jesus brought these verses back to my attention. Finals ended yesterday and I've been really stressed over them. Seriously, I got a 92 in a class and was upset about it. Don't even get me started on my 2 credit hour cultural diversity class which is looking more like an 87 even though I worked my BUTT OFF!
Why? I would be totally cool with doing my best and graduating. In fact, this one guy in my class was like "You know what they call a doctor who got all C- 's?" And I said what? He said "Doctor. - they put their plague on their wall and it doesn't say their grade point average." I really liked that :) And it would be true for me in social work too, especially after my first job.
BUT . . . I was hoping to enter the Accelerated Masters Program offered by the school in which I could graduate with my masters in one year. !!:)!! Otherwise, it would be 2 yrs full time, or 4 part-time. Which I wouldn't really want either of those to be an option.
Looking at it naturally,
I will graduate in May 2013, not 2012 like I was hoping. So that's another 2 and 1/2 years away. I'll be 23. Not bad. The AMP would give me my masters at 24. Grated, it's super intense, but I would have the degree, and the bills under my belt. Plus, I would probably be able to get a higher paying job.
But, Nathan and I were planning on having kids when I got to be 26/27. I really can't see much of a career taking place in that time. Not that 2-3 wouldn't be a good run, but for the money and time and effort and stress and etc, that it would take to get there. . . not sure it's worth it completely.
So let's say I don't try to get my masters. I graduate in 2013 and work for 3-4 years, (which would cover my loans in probably 2 and could save whatever else is made for our family and future home) then try for kids or adopting. There's always online classes, but when I become a mom I'm hoping to be the all-in kind of mom.
The difference:
-AMP means killing myself for a high GPA, and extra year of schooling but an estimated 60k a year.
-BSW means doing my best still, but enjoying the ride a little more. Getting into work as soon as I'm done and making 20 k a year. HUGE difference in $ but Grad school isn't cheap either. Money isn't everything, but it does help. Still, would the investment for a bigger pay check be worth it? I'm not really sure.
Maybe getting my first B would take the pressure off and help me to really put it in God's hands. . .
Spiritually, from these verses:
God's got my future. He may want to humble me and test me but that's all for my good. He's going to give Nate and I everything we need as we look to Him and He's going to take care of us. We may not have everything we want, but we'll have Him. Always. No matter what.
Not only that, but I feel like if I did have a high GPA I would definitely thank God, but more so I would attribute it to my own efforts/study habits/mind. I know it.
So let's say I do my best and let God take care of the rest. If He wants me to get into the AMP I'm sure He'll give me favor for trusting Him and doing the work. I get so caught up in thinking killing myself means I know I did my very best, but if I'm stress and worried all the time, I'm not going to be looking to Him and accepting the outcome. I'm going to try to control it myself.
He knows where He wants me and He'll get me there. So even though 60k would be AWESOME, there's no telling what price I would pay for that salary. I personally believe that the highest job a woman can have is motherhood and I believe God sees it the same. I am done worrying about that master's program or obsessing over grades. "My God will fulfill His purpose for me" - Psalms 138:8 and that's all I need to know.
After all, hearing "Well done Good and Faithful one" is all the reward I could hope for.
Jesus, help me to make that my goal. To stop getting so caught up in the rat race and start enjoying You. Father, I want to be able to help Nate out with $ and make sure our kids won't have to struggle. As shallow as it seems, Nathan's always wanted an Underground home and I would love for him to have that. But this earth isn't our home. And there's are far more important home that You're preparing for us. Thank You for my life, my husband and the opportunity to go to school and have a degree that I love and will give me something to work for if I need to. I thank you that I'll be able to apply the things I've learn in social work to my relationships and in Family and Child Development to my family. May it all be for Your Name and Your glory. And may it help me to know You better. Amen.
A very less stressed,
Morgan }|{ "Look at Jesus only."
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