Changes

So I went up north to go to the beach with some family for Josiah's first time. It was a lot of fun and I hope we get to do it again this summer :)

While talking with my mom and holding Josiah we were discussing some of the things we're doing and how life is going. She mentioned that it seems like I'm so different and she hopes I don't go too craZy or extreme. I wasn't offended at all. I've made TONS of changes. While mixing my ground up almonds together from waffles that very morning I asked myself "whoa, who is this Morgan and where did the old one go." It's just that I have made many, many changes.

To name a few, in the past year I've
1. Married Nate
2. Moved to Stow
3. Started going to U of Akron
4. Got accustomed to driving/going around a major city
5. Started eating Primal/Paleo (no grains, sugar, dairy, and eating way more veggies then ever before).
6. Started Cross fit (intense training)
7  Lost over 40 lbs
8. Started growing out my relaxed hair and actually appreciating/enjoying my natural hair
9. Got involved in a new church/youth group
10. Made loads of new friends/relationships
11. Started volunteering in Inner-city schools
12. Said goodbye to a friendship that wasn't good for me.
13. Taken on Wifely duties of cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal planning, every type of planning, ect.
14. Grown in my relationship with Christ. Not as much as I could have but it's definitely a forward motion, I love Him :)
15. Starting to embrace a "minimalist" approach to life - selling books and items on craigslist.
16. Become the vice president of The Student Social Work League at Akron
17. No cable. (but still Hulu)
18. I have become VERY active. Especially compared to my old lifestyle. Each day has something physical unless it's a planned resting day.
19. I'm reading more on theology and trying to understand God from His/my own point of view
20. Cooking almost every meal from scratch. I'm not talking just "not frozen/microwave" crap, (Gave up the microwave 8 mos ago) but I ground nuts, chop a ton of stuff, make almond butter, and follow recipes. This is so big for me because my life used to be TV dinners or hot pockets and I liked it that way haha. How different.

So basically, yes there have been a ton of changes. They've all happened gradually and as a part of Nate and I building our life together. I think this was actually the easy way to do it: together, during the 1st year, and gradually. Nate didn't push me so I had time to do it for my own reasons. Ok the microwave was strictly me honoring my husband and I almost cried, but now I'm so thankful!

So looking at these changes it's important to reflect and think about how things are going up to this point. I feel and look better than ever. I'm happy and my dispotion on life has grown leaps and bounds - I feel like I have a vision and am going the right direction. So yes while a lot of things are different and I'm no longer the "same Morgan" I feel that I am a much "better Morgan" and rejoice in that.

It took time and it had to be for my own reasoning or else it wouldn't be sticking like it has and I would dread every day.

Nope, my life is wonderful and I'm having a blast. It's great to strive and reach for things - it's great to wonder if next year will be better than this one and place your money on the probability that indeed it will :)

Morgan }|{

Motherhood as a Mission Field

June 16, 2011 | by: Rachel Jankovic | Category: Commentary

There is a good old saying, perhaps only said by my Grandfather, that distance adds intrigue. It is certainly true — just think back to anything that has ever been distant from you that is now near. Your driver’s license. Marriage. Children. Things that used to seem so fascinating, but as they draw near become less mystical and more, well, real.

This same principle certainly applies to mission fields too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.

Home: The Headwaters of Mission

If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the Church.

There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.

At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.

Faith Makes the Small Offering Great

If you are like me, then you may be thinking “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty- year- old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.

Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.

Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?

Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them

So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it?  I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.

But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

July 14, 2011 | by: Rachel Jankovic | Category: Commentary

A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”

She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”

Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.

A Rock-Bottom Job?

The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.

Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.

If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

It's Not a Hobby

Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.

Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.

Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.

Run to the Cross

But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.

Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.

The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.

The Question Is How

The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?

It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.

Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.

Hands Full of Good Things

When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”

Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.

Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

SPC Crossfit - first day

Hey so today was our first go at Crossfit and we loved it!

Not only did the workout kick our butts i.e. we felt like were were getting some where. But the community/people were WONDERFUL.

They have a family atmosphere going on and it was really nice to see/welcoming.

I've been stoked about this for a while and then yesterday we decided to plan for it today. Couldn't wait, couldn't wait, couldn't wait . . . . then we pulled up and I wanted to cry. The place was bigger than I expected and o my gosh everyone looked so fit - I didn't belong here.

But we went it, got introduced. the guy at the front was really nice. Then the main trainer was giving us the low down and when I said we were Paleo he said he liked us already - totally set me at ease.

Then the 400 meter run. Really happy about this because it was easy and I wasn't last. Course, that's not very far at all, but it was the small confidence booster I needed. :)

Then we did some line based excersies. Everything was really varied and exciting. I was keeping up pretty well,  . . . ok well on everything but the duck walk after the pushup leepers to my feet. That was NOT going to happen. haha

Then some split barzillian squats with a bar. Those were fine but I was going to slow. And once we added weights it was tough!

After that we went to the WOD and it was very individual. 3 sets of 50 jump ropes, 10 thrusters, and 10 burpees. Whooooooo! I was good on the first set but by 2 and 1/2 I was feeling it. Then by the 3rd round my hands were full on shaking.

What I liked about it was the encouragement. The challenge. The know-how the trainer when I wasn't positioned right. The pressure to push through and go faster which I don't do very well at when I'm on my own. So I think this is really good for me.

Plus Nate loved it too. So we're on the same page and very excited :) I'm now going to make a list and decide what things I hope to accomplish in the up coming years. That'll be on aReidlylifestyle

ttfn!